I wanted to write about my parents’ 33rd wedding anniversary, which they celebrate this year. Though we girls make it a point to make it a special day for them as much as we could...and though they celebrated a few special ones by themselves, this one is certainly different and has extra special reasons to it. The reasons being 1. My mom finished the first part of her second Masters degree successfully. 2. My sis has her #2 baby on the way 3. My youngest sis is engaged and my parents would announced it.
Yep - these are the 3 big reasons for the 33rd anniversary celebrations. People individually go through so much in 33 years and if they have someone with them in these years, the journey is an entirely different one. I was wondering what does it mean to live all these years and do all the things we do. And what does it mean to be married to a person in all these years. Is there a common thing that every man or woman wants to achieve..or get..or attain? Is there a lesson we can get from the examples in front of us..so we can make use of that knowledge to attain what ever people want to attain by the end of the 33 years of marriage and life in question here?
I'll be thinking...and searching for the answers...Meanwhile, this is what I wrote about my parents’ 30th wedding Anniversary.
That was June of 1975. Two young people aged 22 and 17 started their lives as a couple - not knowing anything about their future. Well that's how it all started. A long, hard, happy, tough journey of 30 years! In these 30 years, together they saw love, they saw hardship, they learned to work hard, they learned to be patient, they struggled, they triumphed, they laughed, they cried, they rejoiced, they saw their nest filled with their kids laughter and years later they also felt the loneliness of that empty nest with heavy hearts. Feels like they have gone through everything, a middle class Indian couple wanting success in their lives and the best for their kids, go through. And now after 30 years here they are..satisfied that all their kids are settled down well and waiting for their first two grand kids at once..
This is the story of my parents. A wonderful couple! In less than 5 years they were married, they had us - three girls. At 22 years old, before my dad could finish his Bachelors in Medicine (MBBS) halfway through, apart from being a full time student, he had to work part-time as medical practitioner for my milk bottles and school fees. And while he worked hard to provide comforts for the family, my 18-year-old mom made a comfortable home for us three girls. If we learned fighting attitude, hard work and confidence from our dad at young age, we learned patience, perseverance, hard work and cool thinking from our mom in our teen ages. They both taught us how to love, to be affectionate and friendly with everyone. What we are now, is totally because of them.
Struggling to make a name in the society with my dad's profession, my parents built their own hospital starting from scratch. They worked - worked 24 hours a day -7 days a week, constantly being stressed out by untimely patients and uncouth lenders. Yet they survived and they stood through the process. They served poor with free treatment in villages for years and struggled hard for their own success. Less did they know that it was only the beginning..Did I mention that while managing the kids, home and the hospital, my mom took up her Bachelors in Science and graduated!
By the time they were feeling that they were doing OK, their oldest daughter - that's me; came of age and also to high school education. Now they had to make a choice between their profession/income and their daughter's future. Without a blink, they opted for their daughter's education and future. They were ready to let go their busy hospital and all their years of hard work for their kids' future. It must be the toughest decision they must have made till then. But it is the best decision they have ever made.
With everything packed, they took their kids and left for Hyderabad, ready to start everything all over again. The next few years were a struggle, they wouldn't have imagined. Traveling long distances every day in trains and buses in the heat of south India, my dad worked as a civil surgeon for the government in the mornings and treated patients in his private practice in the evenings. No matter how far he traveled, he had to come home at the end of the day to be with his wife and kids. My mom took up a job as a science teacher in a private school in the mornings and in the evenings she assisted my dad at the clinic. And this is all - while she cooked, cleaned and fed her husband and three college going girls, who never went into kitchen to help her.
I still remember the many nights, my parents sitting up in the wee hours of night by their sleeping daughters with a hand fan or killing the mosquitoes..during the numerous power cuts of Hyderabad Summers. Some times, I still long for the food from my dad's plate, for the way he mixes and matches different tastes. And mom's home cooking is just a gift from God! Those endless silly laughs and stupid jokes...well we all had fun with eachother.
As it is said, hard work pays off somewhere along your life - my parents' dreams were realized when they brought their own home in Hyderabad and when all their girls got into professional studies. That gave them more encouragement to work hard and harder. Soon us, girls finished our Bachelors and we were ready for Masters in our individual disciplines abroad. First I left to US for my Masters in Engineering, a few years later my next sister left to UK for Masters in Physical Therapy and my youngest sister, had to leave the city for her MBBS (Bachelors in Medicine). Our parents were happy but had the toughest time of their lives with the empty nest. In 2002, they got two of their three daughters married in a short period of 15 days (Imagine the expenses of typical Indian weddings and 600 guests per wedding!). And while supporting their youngest daughter with her Medical education expenses, my parents brought their zeal for higher studies alive. My dad graduated with an MD, Biochemistry in his early 50's, while my mom completed her Masters of Arts in English in her late 40's. Aren't they amazing!!
My husband and I, my sister and her husband are going to have kids in less then 2 weeks. And if we can put - as much as, half the effort our parents put on us to give us the best and to make us successful, happy individuals, I consider my sister and I along with our husbands - Successful!
Putting aside their personal wants, needs and dreams, they struck together all these years enduring and coming through each other's arguments, irritations, dissatisfactions and worries, just for the sake of their kids. Now unknowingly they became so dependent of each other, that I feel guilty separating them in the name of our babies. They have never been apart a single day in all these years. And now, for our babies - my dad will be with me in US while I deliver my baby, while my mom will be with my sister in UK while she delivers hers.
I wish, my sisters and I would have that zeal for continuous learning as my parents have and I hope we would never stop satisfied with our current education and achievements. Looking back, after everything they have gone through together all these years, this trip to their daughters in US and UK (first time ever out of south India and out of their busy lifestyles) - I am hoping it would give them the break they need and should give them the happiness they deserve with their daughters, sons-in-law and their first grandkids.
So everybody - Please join me in congratulating my parents on June 29, 2005 for their 30 years of marriage and for all the success in their lives and for their happiness'.
Mom and Dad, Have a wonderful 30th Wedding Anniversary and Congratulations for celebrating it together and with at least one of your daughters in one of the beautiful cities in the world - London. May God bless you with more success and more happiness for coming years and may you spend more loving days together for many more years. And last but not least - Thanks always for everything you did for my sisters and me. We Love You. - Your loving daughters
No comments:
Post a Comment